In the Eye of the Beholder

I went to dinner with a friend the other night. I've known her for a few months, and she's a wonderful person. I always enjoy her company, and I respect and love her beyond words. I'm not really sure what she thinks of me.
We met through a mutual friend, and ended up spending a lot of time together when our mutual friend got a boyfriend. Since June, we've been through more than our share of broken rules, near-death car rides, and deeply spiritual conversations late into the night. The relationship we share is very special and I hope it lasts for a long time.
To me, she's one of two people I can really open up to. Of those two people, she's the one that is more likely to be in the same place I am. She's more likely to get in trouble with me than most of my other friends, and much more likely to have a candid conversation about personal and spiritual things than other people. On top of that, she just likes people -- by default, I don't have to earn her liking me. I've even done some stupid things that she probably didn't like, but she still likes me. So if I'm lonely, or confused, or depressed, or happy, or restless, I go to her. I see her as my best friend.
Like I said, though, I don't really know what she thinks of me. I know she likes me and mostly enjoys spending time with me, but I don't know the real, gritty relationship things. I don't know what I might sometimes do that really gets under her skin. I don't know what she silently wishes I would do or say or think. Most importantly, I don't know whether she seeks out my company or desires to be with me.
This is one of the difficulties in having a relationship with another human being. Both parties have distinct, separate lives. They may share any number of things in common, but neither can ever fully know the other or understand the other. It's just the nature of being human that we can't connect fully with another human. We all have fears and desires that we don't talk about. There are things in my life that I've never told anyone else about.
Having close friends, I always feel like I'm walking a tightrope, performing some balancing act. At my most relaxed I'm still self-conscious, afraid that I'll do or say something that someone else doesn't like and it will damage the relationship I have with them.
I have no concluding thoughts on this issue. I don't think I will this side of heaven. I'm sure, though, that I will become even more aware as time passes of the unbridgeable gap between myself and every other consciousness in the world...and of the implications that has for my relationship with God.